Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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