you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
