Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
