He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
