Nicole vs. Life
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
