the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
