So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
