What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
