we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
