i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
