Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
