The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
