Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
