How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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