dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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