Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
