Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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