Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
