I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
