There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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