It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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