I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
