my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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