I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
