i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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