Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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