If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
