Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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