she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
