I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
ok first of all what the fuck
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
