i permit you to call me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
