nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
