I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
