I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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