Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
