when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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