I seem to have left my pride at pride
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
