If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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