idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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