You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
