I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
