Buhtt sex?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The ass gains better be worth it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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