I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
