He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
