she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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