k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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