Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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