I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
