does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
