If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she looked like the before picture.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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