If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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