My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
