i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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